Cpl. Clifford White: A Retaliation on Rufus King

I eat at a delightful local family diner for breakfast regularly, two eggs sunny side up, side of hash browns, and a black coffee. Not many things can ruin such a meal. This Wednesday though, The Beacon Free Press made me lose my appetite. Trust me Editor, I am not one with a weak stomach. I licked the rations from my cold knife in Korea. I ate a bologna sandwich, watching my wife give birth to our first born in the bed of our ’67 Chevy pick up truck. This is about Blue Collar, and Blue Collar ethics. Something I thought this paper stood for until you outraged me beyond repair. I stormed out of this delightful local family diner without paying and had to return later that afternoon once my bearings returned to me. I don’t understand where this paper finds the gall to run a letter penned by a bum, or a person without a home or whatever is politically correct these days. How does this Bum even get access to a computer? Should I be concerned that our children are using the same public library that this bum is somehow finagling his way into? I haven’t been this livid since Carter came into office. Now this bum demands an apology from me? In my own town?! A town that I pay taxes in. Each callous on my hands is a callous I got from pouring sweat and blood into my paycheck. I deserved these calluses. Not like this filthy human who gets his blisters scraping the waste from the bottom of my garbage can.
These bums are a serious problem. In a time when Beacon is undergoing a major revamping, it is hard to restore an attractive image, when our streets are spilling with bearded women with the posture of jumbo shrimp, begging for change so they can stick a needle in their arm and fall into a coma in the woods behind my house. I’ve had enough. I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore.
They hover outside all of our shops waiting to pick from the crumbs that fall from our laps as we wipe them off after a meal on Main Street. They flock around me like pigeons as I walk down Main. I say we rent some vans and fill them with all the bums that are littered across the streets of this town and dump them off somewhere far from our children, our homes, and our cars. I’m sure we can at least dump them near that art gallery that’s down there by the river. That thing also needs to go. It promotes nothing but sloth and promiscuity.
Now let me speak on this person Rufus; my friend at the local family diner calls him Dufus, he can’t be serious. You don’t plant an apple seed and expect to eat from it in the next season. Something like that takes years to happen. He wouldn’t know that because he is too busy being a bum.
I’m not taking any more guff from these people. We as a people need to rally together and deliver these gutter huggers back to the womb that rejected them. My wife tells me that these people came on hard times and that in the Bible the prophets were also filthy bums on the streets of Jerusalem, but that biblical crap doesn’t hold up in the 21st century. I saw that stuff die, under the path of the Sherman’s that we used to intimidate the Koreans with. It is time to clean up these streets and wipe away these beggars. I will not stand for this behavior. And if the Beacon Free Press decides to run another story by a bum I will see to it that this paper will lose my audience and that of many of my likeminded friends who share a common love for an America without a Bum Epidemic. We are not Russia and I fought to keep it that way. I understand everyone has a right to be heard, but that right goes out the window the second these people decide to lay down, on America’s watch, and use our streets as a hammock as we all work extraordinarily hard to put food on the table. The Beacon Free Press owes it’s tax paying, god fearing citizens a sincere and public apology.

Cpl. Cliff White
57 Sergeant Ave
845 765 0401